I’d been considering the idea for quite some time, and on October 30, 2024, I finally pulled the plug and deactivated my Instagram.  Something always held me back before — like certain people I could only connect with through the app, the multiple friend group chats sending memes and planning to go out. The phone would constantly buzz and distract me throughout the day, interrupt my flow, and redirect my attention to mostly meaningless things. 

Without often realizing it, constantly being plugged into social media was planting subtle seeds of thought in my mind that served no purpose in my day or my goals. Filling my head with useless information that influenced my mood and shaped my perspective without me even noticing. 

Little Backstory 

I’m probably already coming off as a boomer to some people, but I’m 26 years old and I’ve lived most of my life in New York City – Riverdale, The Bronx. I grew up during the early days of social media’s growth and have witnessed and experienced its evolution ever since.

The first social media account I ever created was on Facebook, back in 2010 when I was in the 5th grade. Instagram appeared on the scene a couple of years later, and the word spread quickly among us kids. I hopped on the wave in 7th or 8th grade after getting my first touchscreen device, the iPod touch 7th generation. I’m pretty sure it’s still lying around here somewhere.

Instagram was where my friends and I felt free to post whatever we wanted, and it helped that most of our relatives and uncles weren’t on it yet. By 10th grade, I deleted Facebook, and Instagram became my go-to social media app. 

Facebook was just filled with too many adults and relatives. On birthdays, people would post happy birthday messages on your wall, and you had to like, respond, and make sure you remembered to do the same when it came time for their birthday. 

These were some of my earliest experiences with the social pressures of social media. The pressure to respond, to like someone’s post, to view and reply or react to all the memes sent your way, to wish happy birthdays, to congratulate people on their milestones, and to occasionally post something yourself. To show everyone that you are not just spectating, but that you have a life as well – that you travel, go out and party with friends, eat in nice places, exercise, study, and so forth.

It all becomes like a side job – like running a PR department for your own life. 

Beneath the surface

Even as I sit here writing this and putting my concrete thoughts on the page, I can’t deny that social media has many benefits. It’s a platform where people can easily connect with each other, share experiences, stay connected, promote social causes, stay informed, and even build a personal brand or earn a living. All of that sounds great and inspiring on the surface, and in many cases it is, but when you dig deeper, there is a lot that’s wrong. Most of us get entangled in a web of bullshit and distractions that warp our reality, shape our beliefs, and pull our attention away from the real world. I know for sure it was doing that to me – keeping me caught in an impulsive, time-wasting, thought-consuming loop of scrolling and tapping. 

There’s a bunch of shit and cases I could get into here that would probably turn into a whole ass book. So for now, I’ll just briefly summarize and make my point within the scope of this article. In the future, I’d like to delve deeper into this topic and explore research studies, isolated cases, and other related aspects. But for now, I’ll mainly speak from personal experience.

In this day and age, social media is just the norm – something everyone has and uses. Just like wearing clothes in public, it’s become a custom. And it’s rarely ever questioned. Millions of people go about their days without thinking twice about how it’s shaping their psyche, mood, and the way they see the world. We don’t fully know what powers are at play and what kind of propaganda is being fed to us when we wake up and start scrolling, on our commute, during our work break, and even when taking a numero dos.

We have no idea what external forces are fighting for our eyeballs or the agendas behind them. Think about it – years and years of consuming social media, millions of people from a young age, being at the mercy of algorithms and targeted ads, will absolutely change and shape a person in some way.

I’m probably in the minority with this point of view. For example, most of us grew up with TVs being the norm in everyone’s household. It would be a bit odd if you went to your friend’s house and they didn’t have a TV. And nowadays, it would be somewhat unusual if you didn’t have social media. However, it shouldn’t be unusual or out of the ordinary. Young generations – and really all age groups, but especially the younger ones – should be more aware of the side effects and influence that excessive social media use has on our lives, on our psyche, and on our behaviors and beliefs. We’re all surrounded by it, and it’s something we should all be questioning. 

No Filters

In the first few days, I already started wondering if I made the right choice. It did feel weird at times – not having reels to swipe on, memes to send, or posts to scroll through. I’ve tried quitting smoking many times before, and in a way, this felt kind of similar. Those first moments of facing reality without that thing you’ve grown to depend on and the itching impulse to jump back in. There are certainly many parallels between the two. Forty years ago, people would sit at a bar or restaurant with cigarettes in their hands. Now it’s phones. Both help pass the time, both take your mind off things, and both can be pretty unhealthy in big doses. 

We don’t live forever. And for those of us trying to grow, improve ourselves, and find purpose and direction, stupid shit like this is just one big ass distraction from the things that actually matter – the things we should be focused on. Like reading that book, taking that course, watching a good movie, learning a new skill, improving finances, and building real, face-to-face connections. Whatever it is, doing what’s right requires time, effort, and disciplined focus. 

It’s also a lot different now in receiving information and the news. When I was on Instagram, I was overexposed to every single little headline about the most random things imaginable. In just three minutes, you could go from seeing the most horrible, tragic news – murder, sickness, death, natural disasters – to some pornstar and the developments of their new relationship or whatever the fuck. It’s good to be informed about what’s going on in he world, but constantly being in the know about everything and anything just becomes too much.  

All this random shit entering my mind from all different angles, topped off with political issues and propaganda, with various sides blaming and berating each other in the comments – just all of this unnecessary shit flooding your mind and distracting you from what’s really in front of you: your family, friends, your job, your purpose, your goals,  and your quest for knowledge and spiritual enlightenment. 

It’s interesting to walk around and about the world and see people who are still very much plugged in. I’m not trying to sound like I’m looking down on anyone, or like I’m all better now sitting on top of some hilltop of reality. After taking a step back from it all it’s just interesting to observe from a different point of view. 

People constantly on their phones while walking down the street, at work, even while talking to you. Teenagers in parks, cafes, and family dinners, scrolling through reels, texting their friends, and whipping out their phones to record every amusing little thing. I understand that on many occasions they just want to capture the moment, but very often to me it seems that the whole point of an occasion becomes to document the occasion. So many of them basically live on their phones, constantly seeking, giving, and craving attention. I don’t believe that kind of sensory overload can be good for anyone. 

 I just can’t go through life constantly reaching for my phone anymore. It would often lead down a rabbit hole of wasted time and a clusterfuck of random info that all started because someone sent me a meme. Then you’re swiping through stories, then you see someone you went to middle school with partying on some island, then you end up on explore, you see some nice booty, you look for more, then you’re deep into a conspiracy theory rabbit hole, reading through comments, and on and on it goes. A repeating cycle. 

I genuinely wish everyone the best – I really do – but is it necessary for all of us to keep constant tabs on each other? On what we’re doing, where we’re eating, where we’re traveling to, and who we’re partying and sleeping with. What is the point of keeping all of these tabs on each other and bringing each other into each other’s worlds while knowing that most of us will probably never see or speak to each other again? 

I had to step away from it to cleanse my mind and quiet down the noise, to let my thoughts be purer and less influenced. To experience the world for what it is. To really become grounded in my environment. 

Is it lonelier without social media? Does it make you feel more detached and isolated? Like sitting alone at home while a loud party is going on next door — and you know you’re welcome to join whenever you want. Maybe a little at first. But as the weeks and months go on, it starts to feel like the new normal, and my past unhealthy habits just become more and more obvious.

I don’t know, but from my observations, a lot of people are just afraid to spend time alone. It seems scary to them, or just boring, or loserish, or something. And the phone is like an answer to that problem. Bored? Reach for the phone, scroll through reels, make a post, think of a caption, wait for the likes and comments, reply to someone else,  and on and on. I’m tired of this shit, man. There must be a better way. And that’s what I want to discover. 

How can anyone feel lonely in a world filled with great works of art, books, movies, history, fascinating people, breathtaking places, and various fields to dive into? And when you’ve got your close people by your side – that’s not lonely. That’s chill af. 

Since stepping away from social media and keeping my phone at more of a distance, I’ve realized that the people who were always there for me are still here. They’ve got my number, know how to reach me, and know where to find me. My family, my friends, the people I interact with in my day-to-day life—they’re all still here. And I’m still meeting new people.

Deleting Instagram didn’t isolate me nearly as much as I thought it would. It just got a lot quieter. I shaved off all those meaningless connections and followers who have no business knowing what I’m doing or where I am – and what they’re doing shouldn’t really be my business either. It was all just a big, pointless waste of time. 

Instead of constantly scrolling away the pressure and anxiety, peeking into little windows of other people’s lives – or worrying about what people are thinking when they’re peeking into mine – I’m choosing to use that time and brain energy on healthier, more productive things. Daydreaming, reading, writing, working out, watching a good movie or documentary, playing a good and interesting video game, having a real conversation with somebody, and just being fully present.

Moving forward

Of course, distancing from social media and spending less time on my phone wasn’t some magical cure that suddenly made everything in my life much better all of a sudden. It was years of experience, observation, self-reflection, personal growth, failures, and victories that led me on this path. 

My mind has been clearer, more focused, and less scattered ever since I started putting my phone off to the side for more extended periods. Over the past eight months, I’ve done a lot and I’m proud of myself. I’ve read many more books and used my time much more wisely. I remember so many days before when I felt like I wasted the whole day on my phone. Nothing would make me feel more depressed than realizing I spent an entire day – or night – just scrolling and often filling my mind with stupid shit. 

I’m proud that I sat down, wrote, edited this post, and created a website – something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time but was always too distracted to actually do. I think social media often got in the way of my creativity. Any idea I had would instantly be compared to what’s already out there in abundance, and that would just make me feel more unsure and insecure. 

But now I’m just creating and doing it. Just doing what moves me and enjoying the process. I’m not comparing myself as much anymore, and I don’t really feel like I’m falling behind or that I’m rushing somewhere.

At the end of the day, I just want to be the best version of myself and do what’s right. Stepping away from social media was one of the right things for me to do. And maybe it could be the right thing for you, too. 

Do I ever wonder how interesting and entertaining it would be to turn my Instagram back on and catch up on eight months of missed content? To open the group chats and scroll through all the missed messages, posts, and memes. That would be a fucking field day. And it does seem tempting at times. 

But I’ve got to keep moving forward on this path, because I know once I give in and plug myself back in, I’ll fall right back into the same routine, cluttering my mind with nonsense and clouding my vision. I already know where that road leads.